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The importance of feeling: Giving space to all our emotions

Let’s face it: Emotions like anger, rage, sadness, jealousy and uncertainty are not comfortable. Feeling them is not pleasant. However, they are human and inherent in our experience as beings who go through life and interact, make mistakes and learn constantly. In this article we will explore why it is important to feel and understand them as a fundamental part of our lives and our relationships.


Feeling is a fundamental aspect of human experience. Whether it’s the joy of falling in love, the sadness of losing a loved one, or the anger we feel when we’re hurt, emotions shape our lives and define who we are. But while emotions are an integral part of our existence, they can also be a source of confusion and discomfort. Feeling is living, and unfortunately, it is not negotiable.

One of the most important things we should understand about emotions is that they are not good or bad, they just are. Every emotion, whether pleasant or uncomfortable, has a purpose and can provide valuable information about our experiences and the world around us. For example, feelings of fear can alert us to a potential danger and motivate us to take action to protect ourselves. Similarly, the feeling of happiness can signal that we are on the right path and inspire us to move on. In my case, I have learned to listen to my anger and annoyance and understand that many times they arise when one of my limits is not being respected. This allows me to ask the question "What are my limits?". The simple act of recognizing emotion as a message and not as discomfort allows me to ask myself questions and get to know myself better. It’s the same with pleasant emotions. In a moment of great happiness, I ask myself, "What triggers this feeling?" and so I begin to detect who those people are, experiences, moments or things that fill me with true happiness. It is a beautiful and extremely enriching experience.


But emotions can also be overwhelming and difficult to manage. Sometimes, the intensity of our feelings leads us to make decisions or actions that we later regret. For example, we may react with anger towards someone we care about or retreat in fear of a challenging situation. Sometimes words come out of our heads in the middle of a fight. We make impulsive decisions. We are human beings who feel, make mistakes and act from the heart. It is more than normal.


To effectively manage our emotions, it is important to understand that feelings are not made. Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t mean that our feelings are accurate or that the situation is as serious as it seems. Our emotions are often based on past experiences, not the facts of the present situation. Always remember:

"Don't believe everything you think"

¿Cómo manejar las emociones?


One way to manage our emotions is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and paying attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them. When we are conscious, we are better at watching our emotions without getting caught up in them. This can help us respond to our emotions in a more constructive way. One trick that helps me when I feel overwhelmed by some emotion is to name it. Many times, even without realizing it, we feel something intense and overwhelming that takes us by surprise. For me, it manifests in the throat. My windpipe closes and it hurts to talk. My chest is heavy. I feel all this, but... what is it? Practicing mindfulness, I try to focus my mind on giving it a name and that alone is enough to calm me down to some extent. I can say "I feel powerless" or "I feel ignored" and my experience automatically transforms. Now I know what I feel and I have it located within my body. I can name it. I can recognize it. Knowing what that emotion is allows me not to be carried away by it and rationalize it before letting myself be carried away by the impulse.


Another important aspect of managing our emotions is self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a friend. When we are kind and understanding of ourselves, we are better at dealing with difficult emotions and going through them more easily. We often judge ourselves by feeling what we feel. We try to drown it, suppress it, ignore it. This is simply not possible. As Sigmund Freud said:

Unexpressed emotions will never die.They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."

In conclusion, feelings are a fundamental part of human experience, but they can also be challenging to manage. By understanding that feelings are not made and practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, we can learn to manage our emotions more effectively and live a more fulfilling life.


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